17 May, 2009

things

things you won't find in my house:
  • ketchup
  • wire coat hangers (which i firmly believe are of infernal provenance)
  • wonderbread
  • danielle steele or dan brown books*
  • stiletto heels (unless mister monkey is holding out on me)
  • process cheese slices
  • jack daniel's (temporary shortage due to denver airport brain fart which will be remedied as soon as i cross some border somewhere, and yes, yes, i know i can purchase jack daniel's right here in canada, but it's like this: because i have so much eminently quaffable booze in the house right now, i cannot for the life of me make a firm case for going out and buying it full price, ok? ok.)

things you will find in my house that you would not expect:

  • a pink dress (that i actually wear)
  • two pairs of white socks (let's be honest: socks formerly known as white socks)
  • respectable quantities of white wine



*watch me exercise an unprecedented amount of benevolence, magnanimity and forbearance in using the term "books" at all, when what i really think is "craptastic drivel in book format"

edit. note: i actually do have a half-used half-forgotten little bottle of ketchup in my fridge - boy, am i surprised! it must have been left behind by a folk fest BBQ guest last year. my most profound apologies for misleading you.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with processed cheese? I actually go over to my neighbour's place to steal some. That and Cheerios. And KD. He's a good neighbour.
G

the polish chick said...

so if you like it so much why don't you have any in your house, huh? you don't want contamination, that's why!

Pitur said...

what about the plastic coat hangers? I can bring you the jack daniel's, but you will have to wait till September, ok? Is it really that wicked with black currant?

the polish chick said...

plastic, yes. but only good, firm, heavy duty plastic ones. ones you could hang a side of beef from with impunity.

and yes, JD is that wicked with black currant. though when i told someone that recently they asked me what black currant was...philistines!