15 April, 2009

solar eclipse with a side of bacon: or stream of consciousness in a fictional format

stellar, really stellar, says bob, there is this small light "ding" sound every time, followed by the gentlest of tremors in the earth's tectonic plates, and then...then we sit down and have a drink. no matter what. what do we drink? we drink campari and soda, with a splash of tonic and a twist of lime. we're very civilized. 

we're superheroes. we wear polyester capes and tights. we fly through the air and cause light tectonic shifts whenever we land. we save little old ladies from premature demise, we haul toddlers out of holes and rescue damsels in distress. we can do nothing about the polar bears because those fuckers get pretty cranky when you try to do mouth to mouth on them. believe me, we tried. lost a few good men (no woman was dumb enough to try). and then we sit down for a drink and talk about it.

look, says bob, there's not much else to say. it's a stellar career with great benefits. the dental alone would be worth it, and the massage: i go see this guy downtown - he can really get at the kinks in my back.

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