23 March, 2009

worried...a bit

  1. men parting their hair down the middle - why does anyone do that anymore? why? it looks stupid. hasn't anyone told you that? they should have. because it does. look stupid. look around! nobody does that! except the stupid looking people. 
  2. tarantulas in bunches of bananas...it doesn't keep me up at night or anything, but on days i'm feeling just too damn calm, i do tend to bring this one out. 
  3. mr. monkey still sometimes tucking in his t-shirt. see 1.
  4. dying without ever once experiencing having abs.
  5. dying from a lethal dose of clumsiness and stupidity which would be a bummer because if i'm gonna die (eternal optimism, huh?) i want to do it right. a flaming helicopter would be cool, except i want to die old and who's gonna take a crotchety old bitch on a helicopter ride?
  6. am i too much like herb tarlek? i used to worry i was. now i think i'm mellowing into a johnny fever. give it to me straight, doctor, i can take iiiiiiit!
  7. vitamins! are we getting enough vitamins?!
  8. cancer
  9. people golfing...why do they do that?
  10. we have a plastic ziploc baggie full of rubber bands, and we're not even crotchety yet
  11. the ceiling in the living room leaking
  12. the end of the world coming too damn soon for my liking

4 comments:

the Dude said...

You're neither. Think Les Nessman and you'll be closer.

the polish chick said...

you bastard! that is SO mean! couldn't i at least be venus? or bailey?

the Dude said...

How about Jennifer Nessman? An interesting blend, no?

the polish chick said...

you do realise i will have to never speak to you again, right? les nessman had NO sense of humour. and i am not nearly that neurotic.
i think we may have to take someone else to the concert. someone nice.