a broken wineglass, purple feet, purple spotted floor, pink fridge, plugged up sink, stuffed up nose, no job*, and going on my holidays without mister monkey.
woke up sicker than a dog yesterday, but hey, i can deal. mr.m came home in a funk and informed me that because of scheduling changes at work, he will not be able to go to arizona with me as planned. being the very epitome of emotional stability i proceeded to lock myself in the bathroom where i cried for a good long while. then i cried on the couch. and then in bed. i'm all about consistent behaviour.
this morning i woke up feeling even worse. could barely breathe and my body felt like it had been the training ground for the chinese army. perfect time for lounging on the couch or bed, reading a book, snoozing, you say? yeah. that would have been nice. instead, i embarked on an adventure known as "the breaking of fast," normally a harmless task, but today the gods figured that a massive head cold and a broken heart were not enough. i should have known fate had something nasty in store for me when i shattered a wineglass all over a dishwasher full of dishes. let the games begin!
now i think it would be an exaggeration to say that i will never eat blueberries again, but it would be entirely reasonable to say that i will curse their little black souls as i do so for a good long while.
after dumping some frozen berries in the blender i zipped the bag and placed them in the freezer. where they promptly exploded all over. as i tried to gather them up (slippery fuckers, and cold!) they tumbled out again. after a third attempt i may have been a wee bit rougher than necessary replacing the bag in the freezer, but it hardly warranted the blueberry explosion that followed. they went everywhere. in the laundry room, under the appliances (where they will continue to languish - i have my principles), in the entryway, in the dining room. and then they started to melt.
as i removed items from the freezer in order to clean it up, a bag of organic cereal burst in the sink and promptly plugged it up. this is the part where i moved from swearing to weeping. over the sink filled with grey sludge and several jauntily bobbing berries. it didn't seem to work.
surrounded by melting blueberries, i first took up a broom, then, finding it utterly useless, i moved on to the vacuum, which was only marginally less useless. then onto my knees with a cloth. then again. crying all along, cause at this point i felt broken by the weight of the world.
i must now go downstairs and ask the powers that be to send me a sink unplugging dude, and then i shall languish some more, waiting for mr. m to come home and announce he was fired. cause that would be the icing on my birthday cake, don't you think?
*my one ray of sunshine in an otherwise blue blue day