i am terribly annoyed by sneezing. i wish people generally wouldn't, and if they must, that they limit it to one or two events. i am personally insulted by multiple sneezers and whenever mister monkey begins a volley i archly ask him to please stop that. right now.
instead, he often instinctively turns to me whenever he feels the sudden need to projectile-eject nasal fluids. as sweet as that is, i really wish he didn't.
my life is difficult and painful. i think i might need help.