in other news: the right eyeball twitch that was conspicuously absent for the duration of my time away from here, has made a stunning and dramatic return, right around 7:30 am monday morn. i now have to pretend to rub my eye or push hair out of my face so that people don't think that i am a twitching stuttering bundle of nerves ready to explode at the slightest provocation. which, come to think of it, might actually be true. but they don't need to know that. wink wink.
moi (on the phone with mr. m): do you have pickles at work?
mr. m: what? why would i have pickles at work?
moi: earlier, when i asked you if you had any vegetables in your lunch* you told me not to worry, that you had pickles at work. i need one. pickle.
mr.m: i have no recollection of this conversation. i also have no pickles. are you drinking again?
moi: nevermind. are you sure you don't have pickles?
mr. m: look, i am in the middle of a meeting. i have to go.
i totally don't buy that he was in the middle of a meeting, because why would he call me and talk nonsense about pickles?
*i normally make his lunch, full of healthy canada food guide-approved veggies. last night i happened to be drunk, so he had to make his own lunch which, i found out, consisted of half a ring of sausage, several hunks of processed polish cheese and a dried out bit of bread. oh, and the imaginary pickles.