04 May, 2008

things i probably should be able to do but am irrevocably unable to do

1. flip pancakes

2. sit cross-legged for any length of time greater than 32.7 seconds (approximately)

3. bite into a raisin without gagging

4. laugh at mr. bean

5. enjoy seinfeld

6. listen to the news without yelling and/or shaking my fist at the heavens

7. have just one glass of wine

8. want a baby

9. say nothing when i have nothing nice to say

10. keep my middle finger holstered around hummers

11. skip breakfast

12. leave the bed unmade

13. drink coffee black

14. be understanding of people's astounding ignorance

15. be understanding of my own failings

16. continue to give a shit about the middle east

17. be quiet

18. not take pictures when travelling

19. shave my legs regularly in the winter

20. forget to pay my bills on time

21. just let it go

22. stay calm


the Dude said...

I had no idea about the pancakes. And I have seen you drink just one glass of wine. Once.

Pitur said...

as for the pancakes, is that the pancakes or crapes?
Is no10 supposed to be dirty?

the polish chick said...

pancakes, crepes, flat doughy things that require flipping, actually anything that requires flipping.

when did i have just one glass of wine? did you faint?

#10 dirty? only as dirty as the black sooty souls of those who would put their tiny-penis-driven egos ahead of the planet's welfare.