i did the unthinkable today: i looked in the mirror sans sucking it in. and promptly fell over in shock and dismay.
i immediately cancelled dinner plans with s, and took on a walk instead, braving gale-force winds, truck-driving assholes and apparently rabid bears, as gently implied by a gaping bear trap.
fight it as i might, the truth remains that i have entered an age wherein i must choose to either move it move it, or start saying no to myself in my endless quest for yumminess and the delicious goodness of tasty edibles.
thank god i still have my tight little superhuman ass. then again, i don't really know what kind of ass i have, seeing as it's been hanging out behind my back for the majority of its tenure, and all i have is mister monkey's word, but the word is good.
so the next time you see me eating chips* you have my permission to bitch slap me with the chip bag.
*i very very rarely eat chips (sober).