i went to a retirement party last night and because i am who i am i decided to subvert my alcoholic impulse and play a little trick on myself: knowing that i can polish off a whole bottle of red vino to unpleasant effects, i brought a bottle of white vino, since i can usually only have a glass or two of said beverage. this way, i thought, my eyes glinting maliciously as i cackled quietly to myself, i would be limited to two glasses of wine! how novel! bring a beverage you aren't crazy about* and you will surely not end up dancing naked on the pool table singing in what you are almost certain is ancient hebrew.
except that caring friends at the party decided that my empty glass was an invitation and thus i sampled multiple types of wine in both attractive hues and although i managed to remain fully clothed and non-hebraic, i am now nursing what must be one of the decade's worst headaches, heroically resistant to medication.
fool, moi. fool!!! FOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
*mr. monkey used to order a glass of guiness in order to nurse it through the night, being none too fond of the brew, thus hoping to limit his intake. it seemed to work for him, why oh why did it not for me? fool!