27 April, 2008

classy iz as classy duz

so yeah, not to get all negative and stuff, but hey, north america! can you do me a favour and learn how to eat with a knife and fork SIMULTANEOUSLY without looking like an ape wielding a sledge hammer? it ain't hard. and really, when you daintily place that napkin in your lap and then proceed to chop up your food into little tiny bite size pieces, then put the knife away and shovel it all in with a fork, dainty napkin placement notwithstanding, you are nowhere near classy. unless you are three.

cause even at quote unquote classy events, i usually find myself in the alarmingly smallish minority (sometimes of one) of people who can use a knife and fork properly. my god, i knew how to navigate the cutlery duo (simultaneously!) by the time i was in kindergarten, as did most other polish children.

so teach your kids. please. that way when they go on that highschool trip to europe, the locals won't point and laugh (as much).

just sayin'.



and hey, guess who got a titanium post screwed into her jaw on friday! consider yourself told, so if i tell you i got an implant and you look at my boobs, you will be punished. unless you look at them, squint, and tell me i still look lopsided, then i'll laugh.

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