yesterday my PMS got home from work and wanted chocolate. i run a junk-free household so the nastiest thing my PMS could do was hoover a bag of dried cherries and yell at mister monkey for not getting off the bus at the convenience store, filling up on crap and then hobbling home the two kilometres or so in his cast. of course, had he done just such a thing, i would have yelled at him for bringing home junk food. and hobbling around on broken legs.
today my PMS walked into safeway and cleared out the bakery department along with one tub of breyer's double churned chocolate ice cream, cause who wants to eat that single-churned shit? not my PMS, that's certain! my PMS then drove home erratically while inhaling a bag of single bite brownies, cause who wants to actually waste time chewing? again, not my PMS! once home, my PMS poured itself a glass of wine and got on the computer. no shower, nothing. and what do you wanna bet that all the calorie-laden snackies will leave their mark on me, not on the dreaded PMS?
i will now break free from my PMS, drag my fat bloated carcass to the shower and wash off the feeling of guilt that seems to have been baked right into the bloody brownies.