12 February, 2008

on interesting afflictions of the gastro-intestinal tract

every morning at work, i turn my television to the home and garden network (normally it's preset anyways, but some days some raving and frankly uncouth maniac sets it to country music television and then i have to wipe the vomit off my mouth before i change channels, because really!). as i work, i glance at the remodelling and redecorating that goes on, picking up ideas along the way, and, because i have no choice, i listen to the commercials that grace the airwaves every 2 minutes or so.

what gets me is that judging by the commercials, this is daytime television geared to the incontinent, the spastic-of-colon, the sphincterally-challenged. sure, you can also cure your dog's bad breath with specially designed kibble (gee, can i give it to my patients?), you can polish your table to a high gloss, and you can dye your hair to match (the table, not the dog), but for the most part, there is an inordinately high amount of airtime dedicated to incontinence, diarrhoa, gas, bloating and "those embarassing little leaks."

frankly i find it disturbing digging in someone's mouth while a shameless tone-deaf middle-aged idol wannabe warbles about "upset stomach, diarrhoea, oooooh pepto bismol" to the tune of the macarena. have we no shame?

still, it's all worth it for the decorating before and after!

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