25 January, 2008

rhymes with bob

i am flabbergasted. the nazi condo board of the place we almost just bought in vancouver actually presumes to tell people what kind of window treatments are acceptable. now i fully understand and wholeheartedly support the idea that tin-foil, bed sheets, blankets with eagles on them and confederate flags are not acceptable window treatments, but any suggestions above and beyond that behoove me to think "police state." i told mr. m, while perusing the condo documents, that if they force me to have blinds, i will formally withdraw my offer because i would sooner eat the little black tail on a pepper than put blinds in my windows, because blinds? feh!

our realtor (with whose ass i have again been in touch) tells me that these are fairly standard condo rules within the area. this is to ensure a "uniform appearance" for the building. riiiight... because anyone looking at a 20 story apartment building has no idea that it is occupied by hundreds of individuals with varying tastes.

what next? only attractive people need apply? weight and height restrictions? only tall blonde blue eyed types with a firm step and a predilection for small mustaches allowed? underarm hair inspections? scanning for warts? frankly i think these people are insane.

i was bitching about this at work and one co-worker suggested that i might be the one to change this law, that i could bring it up at a condo council meeting, and that she was sure i would do it diplomatically.

i wonder if yelling, "i'll put whatever the fuck i goddamn well please on the fucking windows of my fucking overpriced condo, bitch!" counts as diplomatic.

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