i have spent today and yesterday mentally and emotionally incapacitated by the worst bout of PMS to hit me in years. i think it might have something to do with
a) the -40C temperatures, although i don't consciously mind the cold
b) the ice fog that turns my morning drive to work into a hitchcockian/stephen kingesque nightmare of dislocation, slippage of reality and fear, albeit a really pretty nightmare of dislocation, slippage of reality and fear
c) typical hormonal thing possibly increased by my slow but sure movement toward the hump of march after which my thirties will officially be in the decline and i will begin sliding downwards, followed shortly by my breasts and uterus, into midlife with its attendant hot flashes and increased emotional instability, though good god, how much more unstable can one get before U-turning right back into stability? i bet derrida would know!
d) the fact that my days seem to be filled with patients who require TLC and a tender ministering to their psychoses, when, hot dogdamnit all to hell, nobody seems to be ministering tenderly to my own goddamn and far more interesting psychoses, thankyouveryuch, and, the aforementioned patients respond beautifully to my tender ministering and want to see me, and only me, the very next time they overcome their fears, self-medicate, and drag their periodontally involved underbrushed painful little wobbly jaws into the dental office.
i'm not even going to re-read that last sentence to see if it's a sentence at all. except that i will. fuck.
e) the whole office politics thing
f) and finally the whole stress of buying real estate even though it has been almost entirely mister monkey's doing, all the papers, faxes, phonecalls, scanning, emailing and all, while i lay expiring daintily on the couch with a goddamn bottle of wine at my elbow.
so there you have it. cranky doesn't begin to cover it. i want to unzip my skin, go rolling in the snow, and run the hell away to a place where they know how to make a really good mojito, like the ones jools taught me to make