04 October, 2007

i suppose that drunk on jesus still sorta beats stone cold sober...

how do i love thee?

let me count the ways:

1. on a feather bed protected by a rubber sheet cause there's nothing worse than crusty feathers

2. in a kiddie pool filled with tepid lime jello

3. cautiously, on a giant crystal chandelier suspended above the stage at carnegie hall (how'd we get there? practise, practise, practise! snort.)

4. in a dumpster behind a chocolate factory

5. very awkwardly, in an airplane washroom on a discount airline flight to novosibirsk

6. surreptitiously, at a nymphomaniacs anonymous convention in reno, nevada

7. on a raft in the middle of the indian ocean, sunburned and salty

8. on the moon, in a specially designed space suit

9. in the kitchen, while the soup boils over and forms that annoying crusty ring around the burner

10. in a leaky tent in a rainstorm

11. in front of the television, watching special niche lumberjack porn

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