the other day i walk into my boss's office, and he's sitting there softly singing the big mac song to himself. he looks up when i walk in and tells me in a somewhat concerned voice that more north american children* know the words to that song than the words to the lord's prayer**. he then says he bets i don't know all the words to the lord's prayer either***. you bet right, i tell him, i'm an atheist. he takes this as some kind of seriously shocking news which i find funny because i would never in a million years have pegged this muscle-bound potty-mouthed ex-party boy as a church-goer, but then again, there's a tonne of sunday christians out there, a fact that bothered me as much during my full-week-christian phase as it does now, what with the hypocrisy of it all. i mean, if you're gonna have a really really big imaginary friend, might as well make it a full time occupation, no? show a little respect to the big kahuna, to the creator of the universe. or, like me, be honest about it.
*well, can we assume then that the population of north america is perhaps changing? that the new immigrants aren't all neat white people with a recognizable respectable religion, but instead more and more of them are oddly hued weirdos with bizarre foods and strange non-jesus based beliefs? shudder. can you imagine? poor beleaguered christians, poor white christian men, finally having to come to terms with the ethnic stats of the planet...
**well, a musical ingredient list of a big mac is admittedly a little shorter. plus it has rhythm.
***as a matter of fact, i do know all the words.