25 September, 2007

sprrrrrrrroing! dingle dingle! Pa-Pa-Pa-POW!

headline:

BUSH SPEAKS OUT AGAINST HUMAN RIGHTS ABUSES IN BURMA
the world responds with an uncomfortable silence broken only by the irrepressible guffaw from the back row. tell us more about these "egregious abuses," oh leader of the free world. cough* guantanamo* cough!
kudos on your correct use (and pronounciation) of the word "egregious," though. i take it back, you're not a total moron... just a moron.

stuff unrelated to anything much:

i'm married to a lover of rubber bands, especially the fat coloured ones from broccoli and asparagus. there are rubber bands everywhere and when i cook, i make it a point to surreptitiously cut the elastic off the veg and hide the evidence lest i make my man cry.

i'm married to a toddler, apparently. we live in a typical non-concrete building so the sound carries and we once had a downstairs neighbour come up and ask us to keep our kids quiet, please. aaaah...ok. we'll keep our "kids" quiet. sure. he actually thought we were running a daycare, and all along it was just mister monkey running around with glee after a purple rubber band.

speaking of toddlers:

one of our neighbours releases her spawn once in a while to run up and down the very long hallway, screaming their dumb-ass little heads off for what feels like hours but is probably only many many many minutes. i call that lazy parenting. lady, i know you need your peace and quiet and your kids are annoying and loud, that's why i don't have any, see? having made the cardinal mistake of birthing not just one but two of them, have the decency to keep the joy that motherhood has undoubtedly smothered your existence with to yourself. i'm fine the way i am: bitter, tipsy and quiet.*

*yeah, well not so much with the quiet. but i talk as opposed to all out screaming and that's more pleasant to listen to than toddler shrieks.**

**debatable, that last point, i know.

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