20 August, 2007

the bluebird of happiness meets the llama of anxiety

okay, enough with the "gosh" already! i am taking the "just say fuck!" movement to the streets, people. i have had enough.

if you stub your toe and mutter "fudge" while in your mind you holler "fuckety cocksucking whore fuck fuck" is that not a little bit hypocritical? unless your kids or great aunt martha are present, of course.

i don't know, i'm a little torn. i know i swear too much but, like the slight barnyard whiff they talk about in some great red wines, i think it makes me full bodied and interesting (or, like other barnyard whiffs, just plain old full of shit). i don't think we should all swear all the time, and there is definitely a time and a place, but i think that we are being overrun by the all american "oh my gosh" about which, i know, i know, i have already ranted at length. still, when i have a patient who says "hell" i feel like rejoicing. and when my boss occasionally lets slip a "bullshit" i feel like kissing him on his stubbly head, because aren't we all adults here?

i firmly believe that this whole gosh thing is an insidious american import. people watch too much tv, and all those game show contestants gushing goshes on prime time must take a mental toll.

canada, while you may be polite, you are not a polyester*-clad middle-aged midwestern church lady. you are famous for your pot and left-wing politics. for god's sake, your mascot is a beaver! face up to it.

canada, goshdarn it all to heck, just. say. fuck. it'll make you feel better.


*apparently jesus loves polyester. and big bangs. it's true. check out most religious people. big teased bangs. and polyester. jesus may be all about love, but his fashion sense sucks. sorry, jesus.

1 comment:

Anthony said...

Gosh, I think it's swell that you write about these nifty things.

I think you've prompted a post and varied opinion from me.