24 July, 2007

four litres of organic yoghurt and two bananas

1. men have been flirting with me again lately: either i am entering a new level of hotness or they (young men, all) find me non-threatening, kind of like when i flirt with the octogenarian patient as a gesture of kindness. i prefer the former explanation, though heaven knows i rarely look my best at home depot and the tool rental guy really laid it on thick, comparing my admittedly decent driver's licence photo to catherine zeta jones in "entrapment." so, ok, nice, but do they not sense the latent cougarness just seething beneath my placid plumbing tool renting facade? or is that the attraction?

2. one of the flirting young men was a very pretty italian canadian, a combination known as panty remover in some quarters, though it generally does nothing for me*. i simply do not like my boys pretty. i like goofy grins, grotesquely large heads and funny square toes. in fact, if you brought forth a combination of the above, i might just marry you. oh wait, i already did.

3. i had a patient today who smelled of boiled potatoes, which is a very strange smell to have emanating from you. eau de pomme de terre? for the earthy guy?

4. i flipped off a hummer in edmonton over the weekend and the wack job followed us for many blocks, cut us off in the middle of an intersection and screeched to a halt right in front of us before taking off without once using his signal light, thereby proving me right: me, relatively sane though bitter, him: egomaniacal sociopath with a swollen wallet and exactly three brain cells.

5. we drove a company chevy impala to edmonton, and returned in a pontiac minivan. it is actually pretty funny how embarassed i am getting in and out of american made automobiles. no such problems with either japanese or european cars, but this weekend i wanted to wave a banner proclaiming this Not Really My Car.

6. came home really late last night and was thrilled to discover i had to work at 7am this morning. got up, stumbled into the shower, consumed my morning protein fibre shake and drove to the office where i spent the next hour sitting in the parking lot slowly realising that i wasn't actually scheduled to work till 8. tired.

7. i am thinking about life. why are we here? what are we here for? (subtly different questions, you dig?) what is the damn point? this morning i was definitely overwhelmed by the whole getting-up-every-day-for-the-rest-of-my-foreseeable-future-and-going-to-work-so-i-can-make-money-to-finance-the-house-i-really-do-not-want-and-having-no-time-to-do-the-things-that-really-matter-like-not-working-and-staring-at-clouds. i hate mornings like this. i just want to curl up and cry and i feel deeply bereaved by the lack of mister monkey who has a far more level head in these kinds of situations.

*the only way italians turn me on is when they talk cheese to me at the italian centre deli. the more explicit the better.

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