28 June, 2007

a goat, a nazi and an oscar meyer wiener walk into a bar...

1. another wedding this weekend. another chance for us to look into each other's eyes, sigh contentedly, and thank heavens that we skipped the endless ceremony followed by feeding countless strangers at the trough and watching great aunt edith get pissed and try to grope the ring bearer again. aaaah, june weddings. so romantic. so...you know, been there, done that. but i'm sure it'll be lovely and we'll get to see some good friends.

2. a week in edmonton during which i shall endeavour to get high off paint fumes as i take on the hallway, with its inconvenient ceiling angles, stairs and multiple nooks (as well as assorted crannies). alas, i cannot live with the colour that is there now, a colour i fondly call: grandma's unwashed gaunch. wanna drop by, recucitate me and feed me wine?

3. canada day is coming. i really hope there will be fireworks. i spent my last two summers in places that shamelessly fed my fireworks addiction. this summer i appear to be going cold turkey. come on edmonton, give mommy some shiny pretties!!!

4. one of the missing (presumed eaten) parcels from our american friends has finally made it over the very very secure border. it contained a lovely valentine, a scary monster demon, and a declaration of love ("i heart spinach" which i really really do. i'm crazy that way.) hugs and kisses to teena and phil! we'll be seeing y'all soon! in the meantime, go buy teena's stuff. and, while you're at it, go buy shana's stuff too! then you can be cool like me. and tell them i sent ya!

5. tony blair is gone. good bye tony! you might be a manipulative religious wingnut, but you added much needed class to the "George And Tony World Take-Over Revue." plus, who didn't enjoy smirking at dubya when he tried to talk side by side with you, you with your curious erudition, your amazing gruntlessness, your magical ability to speak in complete sentences. and you were rather attractive for a politician*.

6. i had a patient today who said he just bought a brand new truck he did not use, simply because "he wanted one." could this juvenile, nay infantile, consumer attitude be what's killing us slowly? i say yes. i wanted a truck, quoth he, i don't use it; i just drive it. hell yeah! to actually use your pick-up truck and ruin alberta's nearly spotless track record? never! here's an enthusiastic "fuck you" to all of you thoughtless gas guzzling pricks.
but wait, perhaps you are simply not informed...did you know that the box behind the cab can actually be used to transport things? consider this a free tip.

*the last politician i considered attractive was the deceased (and fascist - 2 strikes against him!) general franco of spain.

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