18 May, 2007

those things and then something else

not even close

in my recent professional e-mail-out: Fulfill Your Dream Of Being Awarded A Bachelor Of Dental Hygiene Degree . yeah. right. my dream. i think my dream might have a lot more to do with a tub full of melted belgian chocolate and a very naked nathan fillion. or strawberries. or both. but a dental hygiene degree? not even close.

nausea last night at the monkey household

as we sleepily spoke our last words to each other a poem suddenly appeared fully formed in my brain and i had to get up and write it down. so as not to wake mr. m i went into the other bathroom, turned the light on and sat on the toilet to write (and pee - i multitask, remember?). after i finished i flushed, turned the light out and returned to bed. mr. m snuggled in and asked me where i had been. i said, "i went to make a poem. " "you went to make a poo?" "no, a poem!" "you made a poo!"
don't you wanna be married too?

green eggs and dental ham

when you go to get your teeth cleaned, do you not do an extra special job of brushing? if you were scheduled to see a proctologist, would you not take a bottle cleaner to your butt? clean your toe jam for the foot specialist? NEWSFLASH: the only way i want to know what you had for lunch today (or, heaven help me, last week) is by your telling me, ok? i. do. not. want. to. be. able. to. identify. the. food. between. your. teeth. capiche? jesus. i can't believe some people. and yes, it definitely was ham.

the teaser in yesterday's post

i have no clue what i was going to write about. really. i haven't had wine for more than a week and i think that might be the reason.

the pretentious yet strangely alluring weird singers section

we are flying to vancouver tuesday morn, heading off to a lisa gerrard concert that night, and a bjork concert the following night. i only hope it doesn't rain on wednesday because bjork will be twirling her swan outdoors. is she worth a wet butt? we'll see.

canadian dollar reaches 30 year high; economists predict parity with US dollar

stick it to your grandma, yankees!!! but worry not, our dear south-of-the-border friends, we will always have beaver droppings and rabid moose that you can continue to make fun of.

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