30 May, 2007

goodbye barney, hello dino

DILLS & VIBES: if you are a woman, or if you know a woman, or if you want to please a woman, or if you want to be a woman, i highly recommend this lovely place. with the help of a wonderful, well informed, professional, attractively tattooed young woman, i replaced my faulty barney with the lovely dino, who is so well designed that i am tempted to whip him out during dinner parties to stir my martini. goodbye purple (largely because barney rudely tendered his resignation after three short shifts), hello superior german engineering. just thought i'd share.

did i mention vancouver is awesome?

FOOD & SOCKS: we consumed creme brulee on the beach on more than one occasion. we photographed starfish on long beach. some of us developed an unhealthy obsession with seagull appendages. our lovely hosts, B and L, took us to a late night market in richmond where i bought socks: socks with pink pigs that yell at me in korean! socks featuring che guevara! socks with cuddly bears, bum hole proudly displayed! i almost bought a pair with some asian rock/movie star on them but, sadly, i opted for the bum-bear instead. mister monkey fell in love with one of our hosts' furry friends (cabby*, pepsi*, cheeky* and noodle* were all awesome, though mr. m's heart skipped a beat for noodle*only) who, i might mention, is a cat. yes. my husband fell for a cat. this from a self-professed dog lover, of the militant, rabid, cat-hating variety. hmmmm....seagull feet, cats...just as well i got myself a munchkin to take the edge off.

*names have been changed to protect the subjects' privacy.

and that, my friends, is all. i have developed a headache, what with all the fort mac teeth, what with the obvious lack of ocean, what with all the oil money stench, what with all the trucks, what, in short, with the obvious return to reality.


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