14 February, 2007

hearts, flowers and garlic sausage

bastard blogger did it again, but luckily it was a short post and i will rewrite.

valentine's day? no thanks. and obviously not due to bitterness, because i am in a kickass relationship with possibly the only man in the known universe who puts up with my shit and still genuinely loves me. i just don't like thought control, and valentine's day is, to me, a blatant example of marketing thought control.

if you love her A LOT, you will get her a discounted 99$ diamond necklace from k-mart. if you love her merely a lot, it'll be a dozen red roses (yawn) and a box of chocolates, perhaps with a synthetic lace thong from vicki's secret. if you just love her a bit, well, a last minute bundle of wilted carnations and a teddy bear from safeway are still better than nothing in the half hearted attempt to have Meaningful Sex on the appropriately scheduled holiday.

people, can you please think for yourselves? diamonds are not a tradition, they are a wildly succesful marketing ploy that has been beaten into the heads of young girls all over north america so that they have come to equate love with a sparkling thing on her finger. blah!
okay, if you want to have crazy sex featuring chocolate sauce, go for it. but not because of the date. do it because it is a good and righteous thing to do. and roses? red ones? me personally? i would run screaming from the room, but i am funny like that.

so tulips, a ring of sausage, and a terminator dvd, yes. red roses, teddy bear and a "romantic" flick, no.

and if you're even thinking of proposing on valentine's day? sheesh. i have NO hope for you at all. keep moving, bucko, nothing for you here. (unless you do it during a tour of a cheese factory or somefink).


Joan said...

Well i hope you are happy! I am home sick and remembered your blog site and have just spent approx 2 1/2 hours catching up. I never spend that much time on the computer unless it's for work!I notice I haven't been mentioned since November 2006!(i thinks o' you mo' than that!) Since you refuse to answer the phone and I hate typing(my hunt and peck speed drives me nuts)i guess we are destined to never speak again. i misses you and wished you had come out east.By the by - there's a whole lot o' loonie still in you! Good to see!

aga, a large slavic woman said...

joanie-poodles! i miss you too. and if i fail to answer the phone it's probably because i happen to be lying passed out in a pool of my own vomit, just like you taught me to do!