06 February, 2007

the cornered animal syndrome

my big mouth and i got to talking and we figure we'd been on a bit of a rampage recently. my big mouth and i feel sorry and want to explain a few things. my big mouth, in particular, feels pretty awful about all this.

my big mouth and i realise that we've been doing a whole lot of yelling and pointing fingers and throwing things which, we assume, does little to endear us to our already tiny and very patient little audience. we are sorry. and, like i said, we'd like to explain.

you see, my big mouth and i have been scared. maybe we didn't realise straight away that we were scared but a little bit of soul searching made us realise that, yes indeed, we are scared, and not facing it will only result in hurting innocent bystanders.

here is what my big mouth and i are scared of/worried about:

1. moving to fort mac. any way you slice it, it is frightening. mostly, we worry about mister monkey who will be working insane hours.

2. mister monkey's health - he has very high blood pressure and i am petrified of the consequences. and, considering that we already eat better than 98% of the people we know, i am at a loss of what to do. exercise, you say? great! after a 14 h day in the oil field, when exactly do you propose we fit that in? sigh...

3. my new job (which i haven't got yet). i am not worried about finding one, but about it being a good one. having temped for a while, i have gotten used to being relatively free. i hate a place? i don't go back.

4. new house - specifically the hassle of doing a light reno and finding renters. i feel angry at myself for this particular $$$-oriented decision. we wanted a bigger place for us. we ended up with a rental property that cost a shitload of moola and will require supervision. all no big deal, i realise, but we are after a no fuss, easy breezy lifestyle and this ain't a part of it. sure, one day we'll sell the house and wipe our asses with dollar bills (wait! it'll have to be loonies! can one even attempt such a thing?) but that isn't even certain and in the meantime we are still in our somewhat too small a place so nothing has changed except for an overabundance of annoyances.

my big mouth would like to add that it is particularly worried about 2. seeing as it often contributes to the issue.


so if you are still with us we thank you and, again, apologise. my big mouth wanted to add that you look really good today but i suspect it is just sucking up.

1 comment:

Anthony said...

Still here, and smiling.

I read somewhere last week that worry was like praying for bad things to happen. I know it's easier said than done - don't worry. It always works out.