16 January, 2007

tandoori is the night

*this is a girl post. if you sport a penile type growth in the nether regions i advise you to move on.*

i had my annual pelvic exam today. (would that be multiple choice, or short answer, you think?) my doctor is a decent sort, though because of a slight technicality he isn't actually my family doctor. my family doctor is a family friend and she will not look at my woohoo because it would make things odd over coffee with my parents or so i assume. ("how are things? what's new? saw your daughter's uterus the other day. it's fine, fine, a perfectly good uterus, though sadly underutilised, pass the croissants, thank you."). so i see someone else for my girlie bit check up and because i rarely go to the doctor other than for my girlie bit check up, i end up seeing this guy instead of my family doctor, all because she snubs my woohoo. in case you were wondering, and i just know that you were.

anyhow, i donned the ever attractive and oh so comfortable rustling paper skirt and slid my ass into a complete stranger's face, which i think is my all time favourite part of the procedure. the pokeage of the stick in the uterus bothers me not a bit but the psychological discomfort is very very real. this doctor is cool in that he doesn't say inane things like, "make yourself comfortable" because his nurse once told him that it is a) unrealistic, b) severely annoying. and she is right. a great big "FUCK YOU" is a typical (if unspoken) response to that particular line, and i am sure i am not alone here.

so apparently i am all healthy, shiny and good to go, and, as per my doctor, it is okay to not want children, all the entertaining mommy blogs notwithstanding. i should have asked him to give me a note to that effect that i can flash to my parents.

when i told him i am tired a lot, he asked about my age. i get a feeling that will be the popular response to more and more of my complaints over time. jeez, just hand me a coupon for depends and be done with it.

i also had my eyes checked today and apparently i am not going blind. i have 20/20 vision. or maybe i just have good memory and the third time the really tiny letters show up on the screen i have them memorised and am rattling them off despite my inability to see them at all with my left eye.

and then they took my blood.

and then i had lunch (red curry with tofu, apple and mango) .

and then other stuff happened which is not worth blogging about (unlike the detailed account of my pap smear, eh?).

1 comment:

Pitur said...

I've read the disclaimer, but I was tempted and I read the rest...

Technical question - How does a doctor check virgin'g uterus - provided that someone that is at the tender age when uterus checks are in order is sitll a virgin????