13 December, 2006

dash-dang it all to heck!

wow. three days with no posting. three whole days. what, oh what, have i been doing these three days, you ask? was i out in the arctic throwing leaflets at norwegian whaling ships informing them of the high cholesterol content of whale blubber? was i out in a third world country of your choice, airlifting victims of bloodbath of your choice, while delivering supplies to médecins sans frontières? was i out healing the sick? feeding the hungry? was i at least covering my naked body in paint and throwing myself repeatedly on a canvas? or even reading a good book and snacking on home baked cookies? the answer to all of the above is no. i was working.

let me say, first of all, that i like my work. (i especially like the slip of paper that i receive twice a month, with a satisfying number of zeros and dollar signs on it.) i like the flexibility (work on a friday?! are you MAD?!?). i even like the patients (for the most part). but i would much prefer to be filthy stinking rich and sit in a hammock all day while that girl from the spa massages my scalp (spa girl! i LOVE you!). i would prefer to invite my closest friends to a caribbean island instead of our small condo with a cheese-infested toilet. i would like to spend new year's eve in a cabin with a roaring fire and a stuffy british butler with a tray full of drinks.

but wait, you say (oh, are we in a talkative mood again?), i thought you were an earth-loving, tree-hugging, whale-humping peacenick, beatnik, leftie pinko. and at this point i smile gently, shrug my hemp-covered shoulders, and tell you to go fuck yourself, all the while swaying gently in the lotus position. well, okay. maybe not. maybe you are right. and maybe i would not tell you to fuck off (cause then who'd listen to my blather?)(also, anyone who knows me knows i can barely sit cross legged without hip replacement surgery, nevermind the lotus position). and maybe i am both more and less materialistic than i pretend to be. because despite my diatribes against suv drivers and thoughtless consumers, i too own many many pairs of shoes. and yet, i am sometimes this close to giving up and starting an eco-farm somewhere where i will teach orphan goats to weave hemp on looms made from ecologically harvested bamboo, though whether one can make looms from bamboo is entirely outside my scope of expertise. as is weaving as a whole. and goats. and eco-farming. and pretty much anything other than (most) gums, (some) literature and (a good portion of) food.

but hey, i'm glad we had this little conversation. (in which i admitted to nothing, explained less, and blathered a typical whole big bunch).

so yeah, bye.

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