05 November, 2006

stippled stipulations

i am shocked and amazed how well this blog thing works - i send out a weepy guilt trip message and it pays dividends (hello e!). now if someone would only send me tonnes of money and a detail-oriented cleaning lady, ok? and don't think i've forgotten about the feather duster, either!

more stuff, please mommy:

1. i have this thing where my sensory wires seem a bit mixed up, like whenever i hear a number, i see it in colour, and specific numbers have specific colours that don't change. i always thought this was just a wonky side effect of the extremely high levels of air pollution in the particular region of silesia where i was conceived and birthed, but then recently i came across an article (and damn if i can find anything on this to share with you!) about this very thing. it seems that some people are just wired like that. this "transsensoriness" extends to other things too, and while i will not get into details, let me just say "marital nookie in a key of mauve."

2. we are all of us uneven. left foot smaller than the right, right hand weaker than the left, left breast less pendulous than the right. when i was dating my highschool sweetheart, we had a formal portrait taken at sears portrait studio (gack, i know) and it was this photo that brought that particular truth home to me: i have an alpha breast and a runt of the litter breast. it is lovely to find that out in private. less lovely to have it trumpeted from a 8 by 10 glossy. it was not a nude shot, by the way. i don't think sears does that sort of thing.

3. i have recently heard that it has become fashionable in poland to christen children with classic american names like brian or jennifer, but spelled phonetically. this is so mindblowingly stupid it just makes me snort in derision. after snorting, i moved on to this thought: what if it went the other way? would you guys call your children some nice classic polish names, phonetically spelled? i volunteer my own: agnyeshkah. or how about koobah? yoorek? gosh, i could go on. but i won't...sheesh, first the raisins, now this.

4. and speaking of Annoying Things About The Country of My Birth, i don't know if you follow any kind of euro-politics, but goddamn if the recently elected polish political twins aren't the dog-ugliest leaders of any nation on this here sweet earth. i think they even beat out north korea for that distinction. for those of you not in the know (and i hardly blame you), they were child stars of a 60's kids' movie which, apparently, is now "discouraged" from being played in poland. presumably because they were much much cuter then and who needs to be reminded. anyhow, hurray for democracy.

5. did i tell you we went to see the cat empire at the starlite room and it rocked? i stayed up past midnight without bitching and everything!

6. seven is black. two is grey. five is yellow. three is red. just in case you're wondering.

7. hockey season is now on again, which roughly translates to me swearing at the tv a lot . i resolutely continue to refuse to learn the difference between offside and icing, i figure it's enough that i get the puck-in-the-net bit, which is more than i can say for our fine team. poor mactavish seemed near tears on wednesday. craig, may i recommend bare bum spanking? it might motivate them a bit. and, just for fun, check out this guy - talk about misnomers, eh? tee hee. anyhow, they seem to be doing well, but i don't want to set myself up for another heartbreak, so in classic junior high fashion i will make fun of them so they don't realise i sort of think they're cute. especially this guy. but you already knew that.

1 comment:

Pitur said...

number 3 - This goes in line with idiotic comments I seen on TV made by some pop dumb ass star - Mandaryna - "Bo w zyciu trzeba miec fun"
number 4 - With those two in power, lots of things are discouraged like things they don't control (some tv and radio stations) lie becuase they don't say things they like, others that they gov't controls are good and honest. Aaaaah, the gov't of PiS