01 November, 2006

howard, by any other name...

1. last night, except for one short fit of maniacal, uncontrollable coughing, i slept. the night before the tickles kept on coming fast and furious. so fast and furious, in fact, that i suddenly found my sleepy self naming them to keep track, the way they do with hurricanes. they were each christened with a glob of phlegm* and a celebratory explosion of wheezing: howard, jack, bob, lou, howard, jimmy, howard, charlie, don, stan, howard...i stopped when i realised that a lot of my throat tickles were named howard.

*onomatopoeia at its finest

2. yesterday i met a patient who understood the need to run away from civilization. we were talking about the frustrations and stresses inherent in living The Life and i mentioned that mister monkey and i often daydream about running away and joining a commune, where we would devote our lives to growing heirloom tomatoes, sewing hemp undergarments and milking goats. my patient told me she and her husband often talked about running away and becoming cowboys. it was nice to meet someone who got it. the patient before that felt that all of africa's problems were a result of "their" gross lack of respect of life. the implied "they deserve what they get" hung in the air over our conversation. this man was married to big business. (no, i didn't stab him.)

3. i read several blogs regularly and two of my favourites (mimi smartypants and frankie can't relax) are written by women who make a big deal of their anonymity. when i started blogging it never occurred to me to keep my identity secret. what's the fun in that? besides, if it wasn't for my friends, nobody would read this. i think they find this a nice substitute for actually talking to me - still get the info, minus the endless bitching, complaining and drunken diatribes against big business, bush, ignorance, twinkies, SUVs, unfair tax breaks for oil companies, loud children at the mall, skinny pants, big hair and whatever else i go on and on (and on) about. although, come to think of it, isn't that precisely what my blog is all about? nevermind. also, a call out to my friends - share this with others. do it. i need more readers, i need rude comments from total strangers. i need to feel validated by the world-at-large's interest in my life. i want an audience, damnit!

4. ckua's fall fundraiser is on right now. DONATE! better yet, become a subscriber. better that than cable.

5. hurray for kumquats. so sad, though, to find out that potted kumquats are subject to mealybug infestations. so, get informed. be a fount of information at your next AA meeting. make friends and influence people. know your kumquat!

6. it is time to go and have a breakfast of quality.

2 comments:

Tour de Don said...

Dear AotSSH,

God love your Canadian heart! I'm the production sueprvisor at CKUA - and I have set up a google alert that, well, alerts me every time someone posts something about CKUA, good or bad.

Thanks for the plug! If you're in Edmonton, there's a complimentary bumper sticker with your name on it. You can put it on one of your SUVs.

Your blog is a gas.

Cheers,

don Marcotte
don.marcotte(at)ckua.com

Pitur said...

I like drinking with you, especially when it is your b-day or something, we all get shitfaced and you fall off the chair, then down the stairs, fun filled night.