the afternoon has been spectacular in its total and complete uselessness (unless you count the purchase of some soy candles). i failed in nearly all things that i set out to do but at least the afternoon was not a total washout - i managed to drunkenly stagger around wal-mart, having competely forgotten what i went in there for in the first place (socks). i suddenly and inexplicably got really really tired but because i am going to an adult cookie and wine gathering tomorrow evening i must practise and try to stay up late tonight like a big girl instead of hitting the sack at my recently typical 8:37 (or thereabouts) p.m. sigh.
so i drove the car focusing every ounce of energy on not falling asleep, driving slowly, deliberately and with much fear and trepidation, which reminded me of many a whitecourt evening spent driving with crazy joan, smoking pot and yelling "act natural!!!" every time a cop car drove by, which in that particular town was rather often. gosh, i even had the red eyes and the scattered thinking! at some point at wal-mart (i was there far longer than i wanted to be simply because i could not find my way out; i swear it is designed to trap pot-heads and very very tired people) the Disembodied Voice paged someone called gerald goldstein and for a split second there i actually wondered if that was me. you know you're in trouble if you are uncertain of your own nomenclature (or if you fancy yourself a gerald goldstein).
the ride home was uneventful. but just now i tried to stick the speaker poke-it (whatever the fuck it is called - you poke it into your laptop and it hooks it up to your stereo), into the usb port and the computer didn't like it. i don't blame it - if someone tried to poke me in the wrong poke-it hole, i would so not be impressed. and don't even try with the oops cause i'm onto you sucker!
oh yeah, a funny thing happened to me on my way home from work. i stopped by save-on to pick up some curly willow and thus walked home carrying a long twisty stick. at one point i had to walk around a thoughtless audi (well, the audi was thoughtless because it is merely a car, the thoughtlessness i am referring to was its driver's) and when i passed i heard what sounded like "nice wig" and while i was wearing my chicken hat with the ear flaps, you would have to have one hell of an imagination or vision impairment to think that was a wig. after a second i realised that the thoughtless audi driver had actually called out, "nice twig!" so, okay, thanks. but then my overthinking brain had to go and think this: it is cold out. inside car is warm. to yell out one must roll down window = effort+cold (oh wait, an audi driver would never do anything as lowbrow as actually roll down a window, they have buttons for that i hear) but still. the point is - much effort was made to inform me that my twig was nice. perhaps he thought it was important. so thoughtless audi driver: thank you. and nice car!
i think that perhaps i will end now and go play some tetris. that is sure to do wonders for both my red eyes and my powers of concentration.
DISCLAIMER: because of my extreme tiredness this post will indubitably have many mistakes and spelling errors and inconsistencies. i would apologize but why?