i was scouted yesterday by the progressive conservative party. ok, i am kidding, but only half kidding. i had a very nice patient who happened to be working on the PC leadership campaign, and after our very pleasant chat she told me i seemed like a very intelligent girl and while i stood there glowing ('cause really, who doesn't like having their ego stroked?), she told me i needed to go out, purchase the $5 membership (yes, in the PC party!) and vote for her candidate in the party leadership race. i smiled and told her i was a tree hugging leftie pinko, but that didn't seem to phase her. apparently her daughter is one too and her daughter told her to say to people like me, "mom, tell them he is the best of the worst." so i am supposed to go out, buy a membership in a party i do not support, and vote for the lesser of the multitude of right wing evils swirling about in the PC soup. the scary thing is that i will consider it, because there is right wing, and then there is RIGHT wing. i am more likely to support merely big business, than big business in bed with religion (they would argue about who gets to be the top and who gets to be the bottom, and then big business would be all like, hey dude, i am Big Business, i go on top, and religion would get all slitty-eyed and surly and try to sneak in the fact that its daddy is, like, GOD and stuff, but big business would have none of it cause its god is mammon, and then religion would pout but give in because who doesn't find Big Business just a little big sexy, what with the expensive armani silk tie carelessly tossed on the bedside table, and the hand-stitched italian loafers, the rolex, and its big strong muscles, political and otherwise, and really, in the end, religion knows that nobody can make it whimper with pleasure like Big Business. i mean, they call it Big for a reason, nudge, nudge, wink, wink)
lately it's been cold. it's been really cold. in case you haven't been paying attention, it's been really truly bloody cold. -48C with windchill some days. so as i walk to work and back i get increasingly frustrated with the stupidity of the general populace. now i know i have bitched about this already, but i can't get over it. an unbuttoned leather coat, no gloves and no hat is not sufficient. it just isn't. and as far as i am concerned an intricate hairstyle does not excuse lack of hat. so, den mother of edmonton that i am, i was walking home yesterday, bundled up in my multiple layers of fleece, down and rabbit fur earflaps, and saw yet another man in a leather coat, gloveless, hatless, largely hairless. something snapped (granted, something small and soft and largely harmless) and i called out to him, "hey! where's your hat?" poor dude figured that no stranger would thus accost him on the street and did a quick mental calculation, figuring that somewhere under the bunny fur earflaps must be an acquaintance or co-worker so he smiled, made the "i did not recognize you" grunt, and yelled out "hi!" i smiled and kept on walking. poor guy, probably even now trying to figure out which of his many business acquaintances would have shown such smiley concern for the warmth of his shiny noggin. but it was me. just me. next thing you know i'll be going up to strangers and buttoning their coat, spitting on a kleenex and wiping off that something in the corner of their mouth, and pushing the hair out of their eyes (hipster girls, beware!)
mister monkey and i have been going to bed really early lately. i like it. this morning i got up at 7 and am happily blogging away, watching the rosy fingered dawn creep all over the sky like some pastel alcoholic in the last throes of consciousness (ahem). i had a kick ass dream last night: a travelling art show featuring la giaconda (except in my dream she was much better looking), a bunch of panicking nuns running down a steep hill (a visually stunning moment, my crazy brain, i thank you), greyhounds balancing exercise balls on their heads while wading through swampland, joan mixing strong drinks for me in a little cabin in new brunswick somewhere, lights flashing in the sky - is it aliens? should we be afraid? no, it's only the stock exchange (crazy brain, what you on?!?), and driving an ice cream truck. i think there might also have been alligators. oh, and trying to rustle up an edwardian hairstyle with only three bobby pins? i wouldn't recommend it. hard work. that's what dreams teach you, i guess.
would that be all that i wanted to communicate to you, my lovely (albeit silent) audience? yes, i think so. bundle up! remember, it's cold out!