admit it. you are a voyeur. you want to know what i am doing (writing, duh!). you need to know what i am wearing (an orange sweatshirt and beige underpants). and so, in a fit of generosity, tonight i will share a bit of my private life with you. tonight, and tonight only, on my dining room table you will find the following:
1. one yellow plate filled with purple concord grapes which look spectacular, taste delicious, and turn our tongues satanic black. this is good because in the midst of a semi-serious conversation we sporadically turn to each other and stick our tongues out which is good for full minutes of mirth
2. one large bamboo fruit platter filled with 3 green apples, 7 red plums, 8 purple plums, 2 lemons (of the usual hue), 5 limes, 2 peaches, 3 red pears
3. one laptop computer which really shouldn't be here
4. a bundle of real estate papers filled with hugely overpriced properties that attempt to hock style over substance, and as much as i love style, i am not nearly as shallow as i must sometimes seem (though, oddly enough and coincidentally, i am not nearly as deep as i must sometimes seem either, both requiring far more work than i am willing or able to devote to any given direction of self-improvement)
5. a silly little notepad which has absolutely no empty pages in it and we resolutely refuse to recycle in case the cryptic notes and numbers found therein will somehow one day miraculously come to make sense to either one of us. this frightens me a little
6. a calculator, because my brain has been fried to a crisp and i am unable to engage in simple multiplication and/or division (and i was never any good with the 8's and 9's in the multiplication tables, though i may humbly state that i rocked at the 1's and 10's)
7. one metal pear shaped candle holder that i bought in an art gallery in calgary during my brief and lonely sojourn there.
return here tomorrow for the detailed enumerated contents of my underwear drawer.
riiiight.... as if.