after a lovely albeit filling sushi lunch with my favourite* cousin i popped into save-on-foods (whose clearly unintentionally tongue-in-cheek name never ceases to amaze me - what, do they think we can't count???). after picking up some stuff, i walked out of the store and was brought to a halt by the back of a guy's head. it was stupefying. it really was. it looked like he had a series of little hair squares in blonde and brown stripes glued all over his head. sort of like a really strange anime cubist version of rod stewart on acid. as i got closer i was relieved that this was not his hair but a wig. then my relief gave way to puzzlement. why? why in the name of all the furry creatures of the world would someone don a wig like THAT? it looked like his head was covered in slices of coffee crisp! like the cheapest of those halloween 80's rocker wigs but less...natural looking. there is no amount of male pattern or even diseased spotty baldness that would excuse THAT. even the most putrid scalp condition would be better off covered with a hat, a kerchief, even a styrofoam take-out noodle container, for chrissakes! why, strange guy at save-on-foods, why? you have unsettled me.
*just because someone is your only cousin does not prevent him from simultaneously being your favourite cousin. really.