01 August, 2006

miscellanea (yes, again, just shut up and take it)

did you know that one of the tests for psychopathy used to be whether you looked at your own poop? they obviously had to remove that one from the questionnaire when they realised that it would render pretty much everyone a psychopath. oh, except for this guy! do YOU look at your poop? you should! oh yes, you should!

as i was researching poop for you ("poop-for-you! the chocolatiest snack!") i accidentally stumbled onto this. talk about uncomfortable giggles, but giggle i did. i especially liked "jesus made me do it." obviously i am pro-choice: i do have a brain, and i do not join the leader of the free world in believing the earth to have been created several thousand years ago. but i also think that people should be responsible and realise that actions have consequences, so i found this website to be a hilarious and witty skewering of pretty much all sides of the debate, including pro-choice, pro-life, bush's education policy and the religious right.

now if all those pictures of george w made you hot and bothered, i have some balloon porn just for you. WARNING: it's very explicit - there is penetration.

and if that don't thrill ya, perhaps you want a new hobby? sign up before midnight and you get a set of ginsu knives, ABSOLUTELY FREE!

in other news - it's goddamn hot. HOT. H.O.T. i think that the eternal fires of damnation would be an improvement at this point. i love this site - it uses a lot of CAPITAL LETTERS and exclamation points!!! in this, it reminds me of my blog, if my blog was multicoloured and said things like "Hell is inside the earth!" in increasingly large font.
if you scroll down, you can actually listen to the "scientifically" recorded sounds of hell! and witness many grammatical errors! but wait! there's more! "THE EARTH'S INNER CORE HAS A TEMPERATURE OF OVER 12,000 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!" hmmmm, kinda like my shitty apartment at the moment. i think i'll pass.
"YOU will see HELL. . .YOU will smell HELL. . .YOU will breathe HELL. . .YOU will hear HELL. . .YOU will feel HELL. . .YOU WILL BE HELL. . ." yes, with all these ellipses, i certainly am IN hell RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT! and, as we are told "Jesus Christ took hell very serious." too bad he didn't take proper grammar just as "serious."
here's a question - why aren't there any fundamentalist christians out there who don't sound like their IQ points hover near the mid-double digits? why? if intelligent design is as intelligent as its proponents, then we are in deep deep caca.

on the flip side - there's also heaven. remind me of this when i'm freezing my ass off in fort mcmurray. or better yet, don't. i might hurt you.

for more whacky adventures in the land of unrelated factoids, join me in tomorrow's episode where i say, "why, doctor brunner! that is a VERY large syringe!"

1 comment:

Anthony said...

I had to laugh, as I bought Niki this t-shirt last week and it is so fitting with your Firey Hell link.

http://www.threadless.com/product/535/Stop_drop_and_roll_doesn_t_work_in_hell

check it out.