03 August, 2006

a fine kettle of tunafish

i dropped by wal-mart today - and before you get on your moral high horse, let me just say that i cannot find those tasty mini flavoured tuna cans anywhere else, capiche? so i'm walking out and this fat grouchy looking old bastard passes me and as he does, he flicks his still-smoking cigarette on the ground. so i say to him, in passing as it were, "you dropped something." he turns to look around in case i am a good samaritan and his wallet is lying on the asphalt, but no, all there is is a cigarette and my attitude. so as i walk on i hear him yell, "fuck shit." my first thought was that his suggestion presented a slight physiological difficulty, but i didn't bother explaining that to him. really, what could one say to such a pithy comeback?


Anonymous said...

The only reasonable comeback might be "yo, fattie, go fuck ya self" which is also nearly physiologically impossible unless you are a flacid John Holmes.

agalinea, mistress of the murkiness of meaning said...

mmmmmm...a flaccid john holmes. the very pinnacle of manliness.