25 July, 2006

if i number random thoughts will it all seem planned?

1. jools, i have honoured you with a link, only to make you share it with the rest of my friends. i feel rather terrible but know that the moment i dig up (read: steal from mimi) another wicked link, it will definitely be for you! and keep a corner of your stomach available for our planned and eagerly awaited beer and poutine night!

2. sleeping pill bottles should be easy to open. this seems obvious to me. apparently it is not obvious to the drug companies. i had to resort to melatonin last night again, and it was an exercise in frustration. i'm lying there, tossing and turning, exhausted but unable to sleep, listening to the wind howling outside, and when i finally break down and decide to take the pill, i fumble with it and fumble with it and fumble with it until i am wide awake and pissed off. why?

3. staying here at my parents' place is bad for blogging. the place does not smell, there are no screaming neighbours, no tacky souvenir shops and throngs of matching wide eyed tacky tourists to inspire my ire. here the wind blows, the lake whispers its watery secrets, the thyme covered ex-lawn perfumes the air, birds sing, humming bird fights wasps for food, cats play, etc. all lovely things, sure, but YAWN, don't you agree? i mean, this ain't no goddamn monet painting, this is my blog, yo!

4. i think i have given up on world domination. the world does not deserve me. it just doesn't. i can't stand listening to the news about israel's latest stunt. i can't stand our prime minister's inane comments: "measured response"? what are you on, lego man?!? (hint - he's the one in black, on the left - uncanny resemblance, no?) actually i can't stand to have a prime minister whose nose shows such a close and intimate knowledge of george w.'s prostate. grrrrr. can i just exist in my own little fuzzy circle of ignorance and bliss? i think i shall.

5. tiny, small, little miniature bananas. and not this kind, either. discuss. here's an article to help you with your research. i guess not much happens in pittsburgh. also, what does underwear have to do with bananas?...ahem, i mean other than THAT! and where is your copy editor, pittsburgh? shame on you! although it would make for some pretty hip song lyrics: "baby bananas are hitting, are hitting me straight in the soul! baby bananas are hitting, are hitting me out of control" also, here i thought the U.S. market was dominated by giant, evil, greedy corporations, but all along, it was bananas.

6. i had two glasses of white wine for lunch yesterday.... i mean WITH lunch. there were no screamy girlie noises of any kind, and i still do not have a diamond solitaire engagement ring, nor do i want one. but i had two glasses of wine and i was fine, if a little more talkative than my usual reticent self. (laugh, if you will, you know me too well.) i am, crab-like, slowly making my way towards having more than one glass of red wine. in two weeks, after all, i shall decend upon my home town, and friends from far and wide will expect me to be the old me, i.e. red wine swilling potty-mouth agnieszka, not the new me, i.e. cooler quaffing girlie girl (who in all probability would eventually succumb to making screamy girlie noises - after all, once your drinking ability goes, your mental faculties will follow).

7. why does my mom talk to her cat with faaar more affection than she does to me? i, too, have soft silky hair, and a wide eyed innocent stare! however i will not, in a fit of extreme paranoia, wedge myself behind the washing machine. that's a point in my favour, don't you think? weh, time to produce some grandbabies, methinks. where's that husband when you need him?

1 comment:

Pitur said...

Link in your pt#1 is pretty funny.