30 July, 2006

girdles are a girl's best friend

so, no, i did not recover The Lost Post, and my plan to plumb the depths of my mind and recover it were quickly put to rest by both the apparent unplumbability of my brain depths, and the excruciating slowness of my parental computer. alas, such is life. if it was meant to be it would have flown like a swallow on gilded wings into the azure sky, as it was, it waddled dodo-like into oblivion and there it shall stay. which is too bad cause there was a funny bit where apparently the cats wanted me to go to sleep and so i went to sleep. cause you know, when the cats want something...
we're back in our shitty apartment now, and the only improvement over my parents' place is the internet speed. cause the smell, noise, neighbourhood and general cleanliness are definitely down. very much down.
but on the good news front - we are after all moving back to alberta at the end of august.
and that's all for today. i just wanted you to know that, yes, i am alive, but that, no, nothing witty and informative is forthcoming in the immediate future.

no. nothing to say. definitely nothing to say.

it's hot. that's all. go away now, ok?

oh! oh! oh! wait! i had a really wicked dream last night, where mr. monkey and i were some kind of suicide bombers and the whole dream i was wrapped in a nice little bomb vest and i had a big red button which was very nerve-wracking because i am just a tad clumsy and we crossed the saint lawrence river and there were many many dolphins and whales and all along the way we kept rescuing stray dogs, so we were basically these humanitarian suicide bombers and then near the end snoop doggy dog (or whatever his name is these days) came over and shared his ration of exotic leafy greens which apparently were very scarce in this war torn version of canada, and i think this act of selflessness made me decide that i really wasn't going to bomb anything after all, or maybe it was just the dogs and abundance of sea mammals that softened me, or maybe i was just bored of driving around with this annoying red button in my hands at all times. boy, was i tired when i woke up. but i do vividly remember being a very cheerful suicide bomber. very very cheerful.

ok, now that is really all. i have fed you crumbs from the gaping emptiness of the pantry that is my brain, and if snoop won't give you some of his leafy greens, i certainly won't.

good night.

oh, wait! wine update:

i had one glass of wine on thursday and went to bed with a raging headache. but i'm not sure if it was the wine's fault because Bad Things happened that day.

the following evening mr.monkey joined us and i had multiple glasses of red wine and i was just fine. even the next morning!

this makes me both happy and sad. happy because i seem to be making a comeback just in time for my wedding trip to edmonton. sad because i attribute my sudden and inexplicable ability to look halfway decent in a bikini for the first time in years to my reduced caloric consumption of alcoholic bevvies. so now what do i do? fuckety fuck fuck fuck.

ok, now this is truly all. GO. AWAY.

1 comment:

jools the festooned said...

do more yoga and stop drinking. time to go straight-edge, missy (except for the celibacy part)