i was feeling sad and hurt and vulnerable and fuzzy around the edges but this helped a little. perhaps, if you are not at your brightest, it'll help you too. jools, it made me think of you; you always find the best links, so this one's for you. actually, let's expand this idea - this one is for all the people in my life on whom i can count, who actually act like they like me instead of feeding me hallmark sentiments unbacked by any concrete action whatsoever. this one is for people who make a place for me in their busy lives (and yes, i know we are all busy busy busy), who do not make me feel like i am at the very bottom of their "to do" list, who make it clear that despite their busy lives, they actually want to spend some time with me, who are there for me in a solid, evidence-based way instead of a purely theoretical speculative way. this one is for people who are friends who act like family, instead of family who act like distant and not particularly well-liked acquaintances. and in the unlikely event that my family members are indeed reading this, let me make it clear that this is not a general bombardment but precision bombing targeting one very specific someone who is probably not reading this anyway, being far too busy busy busy.
so there you have it - i was going to make this a DIY blog. specifically "how to hurt me," but i figured it would sound all sad and blue and really, what i feel is lucky. lucky to have so many spectacular people in my life whose regular and ongoing spectacularity i might not acknowledge often enough. so keep up the good work. continue NOT giving me gifts for christmas and birthdays (i am serious, we do not like and do not appreciate gifts, unless they are edible, drinkable, or perhaps smokable); continue NOT sending me christmas or other cards (unless they feature a photo of your family and/or a detailed update of your life) - i will only recycle them and bemoan the countless trees wasted on this bullshit tradition; continue NOT declaring your affection for me despite all evidence to the contrary; just continue being in my life. okay? okay.
editorial comment: i was going to erase this post, having once gotten it out of my system, but i reread it and it seemed more positive than negative, so let's keep it for a while and see what happens. i'll probably erase it later on when i can think of something better to replace it with. but don't worry, the link stays.