16 June, 2006

the obligatory list of 100 (or so) things about me (part 1)

hey, all the kool kids are doing it!

1. i love doing yoga although i am very, very bad at it. touching my toes is a major accomplishment.

2. i am a natural speed reader like my mother and it is not unusual for me to be reading a couple of books at once (i'm a girl, i can multitask)

3. i love food. i love it passionately. i love shopping for it, preparing it, reading about it, talking about it, and most of all, i love eating it.

4. hamburger helper, ding-dongs and kool-aid do not qualify as food, but kraft dinner just barely squeaks by, although i am ashamed to admit it. when i was a kid my mom would buy me zoodles about once every 6 months as a treat, and, having been raised on delicious home cooking, of course i thought they were absolutely amazing and couldn't get enough of them.

5. jujubes - no! real fruit gummies - yes!

6. i got my driver's license really late, at 23, but i was thrilled to see that i wasn't the oldest one in the class - it was a 60 year old woman. yay!

7. i have big feet, size 11, and am therefore treated like a freak by most canadian shoe stores. in the usa, however, i am treated like a nominal sub-freak, which is why when we were living in chicago, i bought many, many, many pairs of shoes.

8. i was born i poland and lived for a year in austria before coming to canada in 1982.

9. although i say i am polish-canadian, i definitely feel more canadian-polish but it doesn't roll off the tongue the same way

10. i never dated a polish guy, ever, until i started to date my husband, and then there was no turning back - he is sooooo a keeper.

11. i have a lovely mix of polish and canadian friends (although technically my polish friends are also canadian, but you know what i mean), but they don't tend to mix well at parties, but clump together along ethnic lines, which sucks.

12. i used to play the piano, but i was lazy and never learned to read music properly and there came a point at which i could no longer bluff my way along so i quit (yeah, yeah, common theme)

13. i am a rabid tree hugger, leftie, pinko commie and i love it - screw you, w!!!

14. i am still indecently in love with my husband of (almost) 5 years

15. i am afraid of people i love dying - it scares the shit out of me. even though it is an unavoidable part of life, i keep looking for a loophole.

16. i am a lacto-ovo-pesco vegetarian, which means i can be morally superior and really annoying, and still not give up the things i like the best, like yogurt and seafood

17. it took me 6 months to get comfortable driving a standard, and 12 months to actually like it. i'd never go back to an automatic now. NEVAH!!!

18. we have a cute 2004 toyota echo hatchback named helmut, because he is the same golden-mustard colour as our bicycle helmets

19. we have no pets, but once had a mouse problem

20. my husband and i call each other mister monkey

21. i think my boobs are too big

22. i am tall and relatively slim which prompts some people to say "ooh, you should be a model" without factoring in such fine details like my scoliosis of the spine, big schnoz, decidedly unpouty lips, and, oh, about 20 kilo excess weight (have you seen those girls, people? they DON"T EAT!!!) but thanks all the same for fostering my delusions of grandeur.

23. apparently i once had an IQ of 154, but i think i have drowned most of my grey matter in wine. my most optimistic estimate for right now is around 79.

24. i dropped out of university after one year straight out of highschool because it was unbelievably dull. i have since gone back not once, but twice - once to do a diploma of dental hygiene, and then to get an english honours degree.

25. i loved my highschool years, but i would never say they were the best years of my life 'cause that'd just be sad.

26. most of my close friends now are people i went to highschool with. i picked up nobody in university as far as friendships go. but i have picked up some new friends since.

27. most, though not all, of my good friends are male and it's so cool that mr. monkey befriended them instead of being jealous

28. i usually have at least 10 different types of tea in my cupboard. my staples - earl grey, julie's jasmine green, yerba mate, red rose, camomile and peppermint

29. i love big red wines that kick you in the teeth - chilean merlots, australian shiraz and cabernet sauvignon, the only whites i like are sweeter german style gew├╝rztraminers and rieslings. the more i learn about wine, the less i am able to drink cheap swill and this pisses me off. ladies and gentlemen, i am becoming a wine snob. *hick*

30. i am not a beer drinker, but if i must drink it i'll cut it with clamato juice which is actually really yummy (thanks joan!)

31. i know 3 lawyers, and they are really really nice women

32. i am an intellectual snob, even though i am also unbelievably intellectually lazy, and i would really rather not be either

33. i am an only child but i have a cousin older than me by 5 months who is not only like a brother but also an amazing friend, and he has finally found himself a woman that we all like - yay cousin!

34. i don't understand why chicago is called part of the midwest when it is clearly east, people! when looking at a map, east is right, west is left. chicago is very obviously on the RIGHT part of the us map. look it up. it's true.

35. this takes a long time

36. i've been unemployed for a year now and though i'd never thought i'd say this - i miss work. i worked 2 weeks when i went home over christmas and was surprised at how much i enjoyed it. i am looking forward to working again in a couple of months.

37. i have wasted most of my time off doing stupid things and getting very little done.

38. although i generally hate pop and diet drinks, i really like crystal light, especially strawberry kiwi (again, thanks joan)

39. i have made peace with my nose, but i once hated it so much that my parents were going to help me pay for a nose job in poland. i took the money and bought a car instead (see below).

40. my first car was a red 1991 honda civic hatchback

41. i once dated a much older psychotic man who, a decade later, still manages to find me everywhere and who is probably reading this right now - it's time to move on, terry! get. help.

42. i once dated a mountie and have gained a better understanding of what it means to be a cop, and the fact that i could never, ever be a cop's wife

43. i am a dog person, not a cat person and yet my family keeps switching sides on me - my mom got a cat, and then my aunt got two cats, and oddly enough i kind of like them, although my mom's cat is completely in need of kitty lithium

44. i like big clunky silver jewellery

45. i like chocolate lava cake and creme brulee

46. i have a strict rule about not eating french fries unless i've just finished climbing a mountain, but i've been breaking it lately and getting jiggly with it.

47. i was raised a semi-non-practising catholic, went through a born-again christian phase in highschool as part of my teenage rebellion against my atheist parents, and am now happily over god, though i sometimes miss him

48. i think that it is the responsibility of citizens of democracies to speak out against their governments. this does not make them unpatriotic, it makes them realistic, wise and in charge - precisely what they should be in a democracy.

49. i believe the world is owned by corporations anyways, so all this talk of democracy is just a smokescreen. who cares if you vote, as long as you consume!
50. yes, i am cynical and bitter

51. when i have a yard, i compost. all my family members compost.

52. when i was a teen i hated how my dad would dive into the garbage to retrieve recyclables. i now do the same and i am proud.

53. once you try good dark chocolate, you can't go back to cadbury.

54. my husband is a much nicer person than i am, but he can be a jerk too sometimes, which makes me feel better.

55. i want to retire in southern bc, in a solar-powered self-sufficient house so that when civilization takes a nose dive, we can survive comfortably.

56. we are completely debt free and it feels fantabulistic.

57. mr. monkey showers in the evening, i shower in the morning, so i have better hair.

58. mr. monkeys family is into boxers. i think they are sweet dogs but the gooey slobber really grosses me out and i could never tolerate it.

59. i can handle farts, but burps really disgust me.

60. i skipped grade 3 and 5, but because kids go to school 1 year later in poland, and because i was sort of unofficially home-schooled the year we were in austria, i am the exact same age as my highschool classmates

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