27 June, 2006

convenient AND fun

our shitty apartment has one good feature - it has windows on three sides of the building which, theoretically at least, though not in the least in practice, allows us to air it out and cool off when it is hot. alas, and alack, one of the windows, the kitchen one, lacks a screen. this generally annoys because i get flies in my kitchen, walking their tiny little poo-infested fly feet all over my food, but whatever. apparently living an overly sterile life makes you more susceptible to scary super viruses, so i'll chalk this up to training for the upcoming avian flu pandemic. up yours, you paranoiacs with your antibacterial soap! dumbasses! ALL soap is antibacterial!

but, as is perfectly normal for me, i digress.

so i was having a really bad day one day: pms, crankiness, bitchiness and an above average clumsiness. i was peeling hardboiled eggs. and failing. one after another, the eggshells came off with a large quantity of egg still attached and i was near tears with frustration. i was swearing heartily in polish (i can say fuckity fuck fuck fuck till i'm blue in the face but it does little for me, whereas a well placed KURWA! really hits the spot, when i am in need of a little verbal release) and it wasn't helping. at all. then, without really thinking about it, i took one of the mangled eggs and lobbed it out the window where it splattered in a satisfying way on the brick of the shitty building next to our shitty building (if i knew then what i know now about the late night celine dion concerts, i would have aimed for the neighbours' window).

mr. monkey came in, looked, gave me a kiss and left. how can you not love a man who will thus love a mentally unstable thrower of hardboiled eggs?

kids, this is why it is important to always have at least one window without a screen. remember that. i know i do.

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